The first year
I’ve made it! We’ve made it. First year of motherhood complete. I have so many different emotions running through my head I never thought it was possible to feel so much at once.
It was the best year, it was the hardest year. It was the fastest year but at times the longest year (mainly at night!). It was a year of constantly being amazed by this little human developing before my eyes, but also at times a mundane and lonely year. It was a year bound by routines, while learning to be flexible. It was the year I gave up being ‘Me’ and slowly, cautiously, evolved into being ‘Mummy.’ Above all it has been my proudest year…my greatest achievement.
The person I am today compared to the person I was over a year ago are two totally different people. It’s hard to explain, outwardly to most, I haven’t changed but to me I’m worlds apart from where I was. It’s a very tough transition and only truly understood by others who have been through that journey themselves. You almost have to say goodbye to your ‘old normal’ and embrace the ‘new normal’ – and all the beautiful chaos that comes with it. I have grown and continue to grow in confidence, the old me is still here but the ‘mummy’ version is an upgrade, shaping me in to who I am supposed to be.
My little mini me side kick has been through it all with me. The highs and the lows as we figure out this crazy journey together. She helps me be a better version of myself and perseveres while I figure out how to be ‘Mummy.’ Amidst the blur of sleep deprivation l, 24/7 cluster feeding, endless nappy changes, are so many precious memories – the first time she smiled, rolled over, crawled, her first tooth, her first Christmas.
I’ve studied child development. I know all the text book answers but seeing a tiny human evolve and develop before your own eyes is amazing. She has gone from a tiny baby relying on her parents for her every need, to a curious, independent toddler who knows her own mind. The ‘baby’ chapter of her life is almost over and while that brings a whole host emotions with it, I’m excited to see what the next chapter brings.